Canteen blues

The conversation in a canteen of a 10 billion dollar IT company during lunch time between two fat women goes on like this:

1^st fat women: (Seeing the ultra-thin tiffin box of the other woman) Are you on diet?

2^nd fat woman: No. Are you on fast?

1^st fat woman: No.

A tasteless lunch to the tongue complemented by sarcastic words heard to the ear. 

South India:

A place where people eat rice with their hands.

But in a 10 billion dollar IT Company, where mannerism creeps in, two hands are substituted with two spoons. In spite of being written in the hall that please take one spoon, South Indians take two spoons to eat rice. After being constantly mocked for their eating habits, they have progressed a bit further to eating rice with two spoons. What has this caused in our canteen?

Shortage of spoons in lunch hour. People don’t even let the spoons reach the serving table. Spoons have now become a priced commodity.

The office canteen is a place where people went out their anger among their friends which they can’t do it in office cubicle. Back bitching is so common that one person does all the back bitching among the group while the other people listen to that person as if he is giving them enlightenment in life.

The less said about rotis, the more it is better. The extent to which you get rotis made one random guy comment that at least prisoners in jail might be getting a good deal.

One fine day, an employee discovers a hair in the dal. He shouts at the top of voice and the whole canteen stops eating. The catering head guy tries to apologize and tries to make a modest face in front of employee. The same employee had got screwed by a client last night and now the roles have only got reversed.

The big advantage that a catering staff have with them while preparing food for some 10000 odd people is that you don’t require efforts even to chop vegetables like onion and tomatoes. The small tomatoes are just put in the curry water. What if the small tomato has a worm? Wouldn’t it give a distinctive taste to our tongue?

Biryani festivals in the office canteen cause a mad scramble at the serving table. Everyone tries to go early resulting in long line that stretches the whole hall. Friday is the day when everyone tries to imbibe everything is good feeling by eating chicken biryani resulting again in longer queues compared to all other four days.

When you see an empty place in the crowded office canteen hall, it means that is directly below the AC vents. Who wants to eat food stone cold!

The story ends with a sweet. A high calorie sweet satisfies your tongue at the end of a tasteless lunch.